Who won the Polykill Photoshop Contest? Find out! We show off our top 9 entries and explain why they're so damn funny. Thanks to everyone who participated!

How does anything ever get done before a Polykill episode? Jake and Trav discuss the term perishable, figure out what to talk about for future episodes, sing (maybe?), and laugh. Getting the show started is tough as Trav forgets how to speak. Jake spends a good portion of this time pouring Coke Zero into a Polykill mug as if that's a normal thing people do. It's all dumb.

Hi, I’m Simon Belmont and I just went on a crazy ass adventure.  Ya know, back in 1688 I was telling some fellas down at the local inn as I was passing through that someone “oughta take a whip and beat ol Dracula right in the fucking mouth with it” and then we all had a toast and a good laugh.   Well, here I am three years later to the day almost to tell you I did just that.  It was crazy.

Jake and Trav test their primitive acumen against each other in duel after duel of caveman themed games. In what should be a friendly game of "lets tap A a lot" the two instead find themselves bewildered at how to start a simple cave fire. Let the hossing commence!

Trav gets the Cartridge Club Mystery Box in the mail and enjoys what he finds. He also takes the time to point out some issues with the box's weirder contents.

Jake and Trav try their hands at Octodad, a silly game where you play as a an octopus who is also a father to a human family. The premise is silly, the game is silly, and the video of them playing it is silly.

Trav and Jake mess around with the Taxan version of GI Joe for the NES. The third boss presents a problem though.

“WTF Dude, you’ve never beaten Contra before?”

“Well, no,” I said, feeling the need to defend myself but instead just letting it go.

“Why not? It’s not that hard.”

“It’s not that hard,” I mocked sarcastically. “Yeah, it is. It’s tough. But to be honest, I’ve never really taken the time to sit down and try to seriously beat it. I’ve only just dabbled a few times.”

“WTF do you want for your birthday this year?” my wife asked two weeks out from my 31st big day.

“You have the list,” I said, referring to my video game collection I have meticulously organized on Google Sheets. I’ve forwarded the link to anyone who cares about me just in case they get a charity streak or wonder what I would like for a holiday gift. Spoiler alert: I still only get gift cards to Olive Garden.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to snow board down a mountain?  What about getting sentenced to Gautamo Bay? What about GUANATANMO BAY?  Find out in this video!

Trav and Jake run around a giant Nazi castle, euthanizing vicious dogs, stealing gold plated chalices, murdering ruthless nazi's, and of course eating that delicious ass floor turkey. 

Here's another exciting and informative entry to Rusty's review series where he continues his quest to uncover the most sought after and overlooked games history has to offer.  You'll never believe what he dug up this week!

Trav and Jake play Comix Zone, a classic Genesis game stylized like a comic book. Neither had played the game before and it shows

Downwell gets played while Jake and Trav play anagrams and story prompt. Loser has to sing Drake's Hot Line Bling.

Trav plays through the classic SNES game Donkey Kong Country and has some fun with the footage.