Dylan's 1994 Horror Column: Lost in the Woods

Editor’s note: Dylan will be contributing a column to the website more regularly. It will be called “The Nameless Horror Column” and this month those entries will revolve around the year 1994 so they will be placed here. Find more of Dylan’s writings at dylancharles.net and check back here often this month and beyond for more horrific write ups.

You may be aware that for the entire month of February, podcast mogul wannabe Dr. Travis Terry will again be traveling through time and living as the time-natives do: ingesting only pop culture from the distant time-lands of 1994. Nothing, but industrial rock, Super Nintendo and Michael Crichton novels for 28 days. 

And I know what you’re saying, “Dylan, how can I travel to 1994, but in a spooky way?”

I’m glad you asked!

I will be your guide throughout February, taking you by the hand and showing you as many horror movies as I can find that came out in 1994. But I’m not going to show you classics like Interview with the Vampire or In the Mouth of Madness. You don’t need me for that. You have Google and the ability to use it. 

One of the best things about horror movies is finding those forgotten little nightmares that were passed by everyone and left behind in the darkness. Horror is never very scary when it’s familiar, when its narrative turns and character arcs are easy to anticipate and you know what’s coming up along the path.

So, I’m going to take you on a different journey, leading you down a dark and twisting trail through 1994 and seeing what we can scare up. In these woods there’s no telling what we’ll find. The first, ambitious attempt to adapt The Stand is here, but maybe you’re not in the mood for a tale of plague and the world’s end at the moment. Rupert Everret as the Cemetery Man is in these woods, a surreal black comedy that everyone should see at least once. 

There are also a host of sequels roaming between these trees: Leprechaun, Puppetmaster, Ghoulies, Pumpkinhead and others make this place their home. There’s a werewolf picture with Jack Nicholson. There are shrunken heads and boogeymen. There’s even Frankenstein and his monster in my favorite adaptation of Mary Shelley’s novel. You might be familiar with Freddy Krueger and his New Nightmare, but have you heard of Shakaal, who also uses his knife-bladed hand to butcher teenagers in their sleep?

There are so many monsters; they're hiding behind every tree, crouched in the shadows waiting for someone to walk along and give them a good scare. So come along with me and I’ll be your guide as we explore these woods together, but no promises that you’ll come out on the other side of 1994.